Tobin In Tahiti - click for a bigger version

  • Marks out of 10 for Cover

 The most exotic looking girl to grace a Tobin cover since Tobin For Hire – obviously she is a stereotypical Tahitian beauty. A new publisher for Stan meant a change of cover design. The Bedside Guide would be the only book to feature a would-be "Russ Tobin" model from now on. The Futura editions all feature a lady lying across the back and front of the book – if you open the cover up you get the whole picture – meaning there is nothing but a load of grass skirt and some feet on the back cover. 7/10

  • Cover Notes

 "FREE LOVE IN THE SUN. Silver sand, crystal sea, whispering palm trees and the moonlight over the lagoon…TAHITI The paradise of the South Seas was all the brochures had promised. But when Russ Tobin and Buzz Malone arrived there, they discovered that there were one or two things they hadn’t mentioned. Like the lethal local aphrodisiac whose effects were said not to wear off for twenty-four hours, and the eccentric Frenchman’s all-night parties, notorious for their beautiful and demanding women. Tobin and Buzz had only one day and one night to spend in Tahiti. It was more than enough"

  • Brief Description of the Plot

 We join Russ & Buzz as the plane lands and from there on in – it’s two days of loving, watching porn movies and partying. There really isn’t a plot other than that. But the action all takes place within 48 hrs so who needs a plot? As they fly on to Sydney – Buzz tells Russ he’s got him a job with a Male Escort Agency. Which technically makes Buzz his pimp?!

  • Page at which Russ Tobin first reminisces about a previous adventure

 Page 6 (two pages in)

  • Page at which Russ Tobin first eyes up a lady

 Page 6 (two pages in)

  • Page at which Russ Tobin first gets to know a lady in the biblical sense

 Page 72 but don’t be fooled – Russ is being a gent here and waiting for the moment to be right. He could have started MUCH earlier

  • Page at which Russ Tobin first drinks a Vodka Tonic

 Would you believe it? Russ doesn’t have a single Vodka! He wakes up on the plane with a hangover, has Beer (pg 28), Cinzano (pg 37), Rum Punch (pg 53), Tea (pg 76), Champagne (pg 86) and a WICKED Polynesian love potion called CUM CUM JUICE on page 104. Oh yeah - Later on he has some regular coconut juice (pg 127). Was this deliberate? Was Stan simply trying to avoid letting the formula get too staid? We will never know!

  • Serious points raised

 Erm….that there really isn’t much to do in Tahiti except make love, drink, watch mucky films and extend your already rampant libido by guzzling love potions. And also – you don’t tip the waiters in Tahiti. And always ask before you "borrow" someone’s car.

  • Rating on the MORGANOMETER

 The lack of plot makes for a fairly routine two days of love. 6/10